Four feelings
by awesomenesshasar
Summary: The moment this had happened, he knew he would never be the same. The moment she said this, he felt like he died. What had happened to them? MaBill. Rated T for swearing, suggestive themes, and mention of alcohol use.


A/N: Ah, another depressing one-shot! Hooray for my sick twisted mind! I hope you cry at this! Because if you enjoy this, what the hell is wrong with you? Ha, just kidding! I don't discriminate! Here, another dark idea from the strange dark folds of my mind!

WARNING: Heavily inspired by sad break-up songs; i.e.

Somebody That I Used to Know- Gotye

Someone Like You- Adele

Drive- Imagine Dragons

Apologize- One Republic

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls.

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><p>Uneasiness.<p>

His current emotion.

Bill and Mabel had been growing distant for the past few weeks, and he was worried about their relationship. They had been so close in the beginning, what was wrong now? How come she was acting like this? It was so confusing. As he approached her, she seemed to tense up. She let out an exasperated sigh as he gave her a small peck on the cheek. He looked at her with a confused expression as she looked away from him, not wanting to look at him.

"Darling, what's wrong?"

She gave him a look, he never called her darling unless he really wanted something. Looking him up and down, she only let out a sigh, and left the room. Bill looked on uneasily. What was going on? Was she sick? Maybe she was. He'd have to get some medications, he didn't want her feeling bad when they were in the bedroom tonight. He was looking forward to that time, feeling excited. There was just something so invigorating and refreshing about it. They did it when they were both feeling up to it, but lately when he wanted to do it, she seemed tired, and angry. But she still went along with it.

Maybe she didn't want to do it lately? That could be it, Stan was very sick lately, and this stress had her on edge.

He would do something to have her feel better, right after they did it tonight.

She would still be up for it, right?

* * *

><p>Denial.<p>

That was all he felt.

As the woman he had loved glared at him with anger, she rejected his embrace. Hadn't they loved each other? What was different now?

"Stop! I don't love you anymore!"

He felt sick to his stomach. What?

"What do you mean?"

She looked him in the eyes, her temper flaring up again.

"Do you even love me?! All we ever do is have sex when you want it, you never listen! It isn't healthy! I don't feel anything for you anymore, I just don't!"

What?! That wasn't true! He still loved her, he loved her with all his non-existent heart! She raised an eyebrow with an angry scowl.

"No, I still love you!" He pleaded desperately.

"Oh, really? Can you go one week without having sex with me?"

He paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to answer. This hesitance however, only made her more furious.

"Get out." She growled. This surprised him.

"W-what?"

"I said, GET OUT, YOU FILTHY BASTARD!" She screamed. Without another word, she had dragged him to the front door. Opening it, she shoved him outside. He scrambled to apologize, but she had already slammed the door on him. With only a hazy and distant look in his eyes, he stood there, until he was dragged away by the police. How could this have happened? No, she still loved him, he still loved her, she would be fine in the morning. She would call him back, and apologize.

Though as he sat near the phone all night long, he never got a call. He tried reaching her several times, but she never answered.

He had tried one last time, and finally, he stopped being in denial.

As he realized this, a single tear rolled down his cheek.

* * *

><p>Depression.<p>

One of the worst things he had ever felt.

Holding the near empty bottle in his sweaty palm, the demon took another swig, attempting to drown his sorrows in the sickeningly sweet liquid. His throat felt slimy, and he would have thrown up if he had a gag reflex. No, instead, he continued to drink. Downing the last bit, he tilted it upside down. Only a drop came out, landing on his nose. Scowling at this, he turned back to the pack he had just bought. All the bottles were empty, not a single drop left. Sighing, he got up. He would have to get some more. He'd rather not walk, so he got onto his motorcycle. Breathing heavily, he started it up, and began to drive, trying to clear his thoughts. After a few minutes, he dared look away from the road as he took a sharp turn. This was a grave mistake, though, and moments later, he felt a jarring pain, and felt himself tumbling onto his back. Something had cracked, was it his helmet?

He was lifted onto something soft, and rolled into a different place. He didn't feel anything, he was absolutely fine, albeit slightly drunk. But, he decided to go along with it, Human's had such weird ways to take care of people. As they stuck tubes in his arms, fed him strange food, and put him on dangerously large amounts of painkillers, he forgot about everything else. He was fine, he never felt anything. It was so relaxing. Even though he didn't need it right now, he stood in the hospital bathroom with a bottle of the strange pills. They made him feel so happy, so happy. As he downed one, two, three, four, and so on, everything became fuzzy. Wandering around, he had a goofy smile on his face. This dream-like state was so, so wonderful. Why did it feel so familiar? Hadn't he been here before? Of course he had!

Had he really forgotten who he even was? He was Bill Cipher, dream- dream- what was he again? Running a hand through his hair, he tried desperately to remember. It was just on the tip of his tongue! Just when he thought he remembered, he lost it. But this was important! How could he have even forgotten who he was?! It was all because of her. The woman he saw so often in his dreams. With long brown hair, pink cheeks, and brown eyes, he felt passion flare up in him whenever he saw her. Though as he began to remember her, he felt everything become fuzzier again. No! He had almost remembered! He could still remember, if he just tried-

But in an instant, he forgot everything. As he fell to the floor, he could no longer remember he was a dream demon, the woman who broke his heart, or his own name. All he remembered was that he wanted one last pill...

* * *

><p>Nothing.<p>

That was all he felt.

He hadn't felt anything for quite some time now, and he was just a shell of himself now. Who was this brunette who seemed so desperate to talk to him. He only stared blankly, as she had a saddened look on her face. As she started to cry, he reached out a hand to her to wipe them away. Giving her a look of comfort, he smiled.

"Hey, don't cry."

She gave a look of desperation, holding his hand. With a sob, she asked quietly;

"Don't you remember me?"

He gave an inquisitive look, did she know him? He couldn't remember. Maybe he did, but for now, he couldn't recall anything. She seemed so familiar, though. Wasn't her name May Belle? Or perhaps Maven? She gave a hopeful glace, a hint of a smile on her lips as he gave a familiar smile to her.

"Shooting Star..." He mumbled, looking down at her wrist. A small carving was etched into it, a shooting star...

His eye widened, and for a moment he recognized her!

"Ma-" He had almost said her name before the dull look returned to his eye. He lay back down in the hospital bed, with the same vacant expression on his face. He only lay there for a while, not looking back at her as she left the room, and the doctors came in. Amnesia... Was that what he had? He couldn't be sure, maybe this was all a dream. But it really wasn't.

More time passed. He felt he never truly left the hospital, even as he had left several months later, and resumed his daily life. Currently, he was walking around, and enjoying the changing color of the leaves. Looking around, he then spotted the familiar brunette on a bench with someone, holding his hand. She seemed happy, but a tired sort of happy. He felt anger for a moment when he gave her a peck on the cheek. But, he could do nothing, as he resumed his walk, and never looked back.

He never found out that was the day he died.

* * *

><p>AN: Confusing ending, I know, but hey, who doesn't love confusion? Shut up, Toby, no one likes you. Any-who, I'll probably be posting something that's much more upbeat soon. Here's a hint at what it might be like; the happy, nostalgic feeling of My Neighbor Totoro, and INTENSE ALL CAPS. Please review!


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